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Clingman’s Dome 3

Written late last night…

So many days and nights have passed since my last entry. Some held things worth writing about, though I didn’t feel motivated to write. Some held very little importance. Well, for whatever reason, here I am, writing…

University of Tennessee, round three. Taking 12 hours, and I continue to struggle. I know in the back of my mind that it cannot go away overnight. Yet, I expect to—not change—but to have already changed, to be perfect now. I know I will never be perfect; that is, that I will always struggle. Why do I go on living without struggle? I don’t—but it’s the delusion I clothe myself with every day.

But, I haven’t dropped below full time for the first time in two years. And I have no reason to. So, all is not lost…

I have met a girl. Wonderful, delightful, cute, funny, precious, beautiful, smart, witty, thoughtful, sweet, kind, and lovely are her names. But, for short, I call her Tiffany along with the rest of the world. She is unlike any human being I have had the pleasure of sharing my life’s moments with. She makes me undeniably happy.

Differing religious views abound within her. This is perhaps our greatest difference. No—it is our greatest difference. Though, I understand (as much as I can) her place in life. I don’t think for a minute that I can enter her world and touch her and watch her become a Christian before my eyes. Foolishness wouldn’t even begin to describe that mindset.

Any change would be long in coming, if at all. More importantly, I accept this. Yet, I’m the guy that always has to skip the adventure and peek into the Endgame scenario. When I do that, a question mark appears, and that scares me, makes me want to run. But this has always been the case: I HATE the unknown in life. It scares me. So, this is no different, really.

She deserves my patience, love, care, kindness, and understanding every minute of every day—nothing less. And I wish to give these things to her so much. She is a wonder.

A marvel.

A Godsend.

It’s time to sleep…I suppose I’ll write more when the mood strikes.



  1. very interesting, but I don’t agree with you

  2. Fair enough….

    Who is Idetrorce?

  3. To me it is necessary to find

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